Fish Gills Mcginty Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 What's folks opinions on wedding lists? I've to traipse round a department putting shit I don't need on a wedding list, apparently its the best thing to do nowadays. And what about getting vouchers to pay for the honeymoon? it all seems a bit cheeky to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topcat Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Suggest donations and put them to a charity you both agree on - do you really need a Gaggia coffee machine or a Jasper Conran teapot? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish Gills Mcginty Posted March 6, 2017 Author Share Posted March 6, 2017 Nope, I really don't need anything, People want to give us stuff, I find the whole thing very awkward. The charity thing wouldn't work, people will buy us gifts regardless, I'd be all for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ormond Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 A heap of Americanised shite! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McTeeko Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 We did the charity thing a couple of years ago. Slipped a wee card into the invitations asking for no presents and that we'd be grateful if people made a donation to the Sick Kids Friends Foundation instead as that was who our fundraising team was raising for. Still didn't stop people turning up with bottles of champagne and stuff for us though ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huddersfield Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Apologies to anyone I offend massively here, but I think that they are up there with the most awful, greedy, consumerist aspects of modern life. I couldn't ever imagine myself plotting how to get thousands...nay, tens of thousands of pounds worth of gadgets & guff that most likely never get used. It's nearly 31 years since I got married (on the dole & on the cheap), & we've managed just fine without whatever the 'must have' was in 1986. I genuinely worry when I see people preparing for weddings these days. Spending years, 5-figure sums & every bit of mental energy you possess for 1 single day really feels like a recipe for disaster, & it seems like the wedding becomes an end in itself, rather than a meaningful life transition. So, it's a no from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euan2020 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 7 hours ago, Fish Gills Mcginty said: What's folks opinions on wedding lists? I've to traipse round a department putting shit I don't need on a wedding list, apparently its the best thing to do nowadays. And what about getting vouchers to pay for the honeymoon? it all seems a bit cheeky to me. I told folk's we didn't want any presents - just to bring themselves to the wedding, and put the money towards accommodation if they wanted to stay over. Plenty of my aunties ignored me though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euan2020 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 22 minutes ago, Huddersfield said: Apologies to anyone I offend massively here, but I think that they are up there with the most awful, greedy, consumerist aspects of modern life. I couldn't ever imagine myself plotting how to get thousands...nay, tens of thousands of pounds worth of gadgets & guff that most likely never get used. It's nearly 31 years since I got married (on the dole & on the cheap), & we've managed just fine without whatever the 'must have' was in 1986. I genuinely worry when I see people preparing for weddings these days. Spending years, 5-figure sums & every bit of mental energy you possess for 1 single day really feels like a recipe for disaster, & it seems like the wedding becomes an end in itself, rather than a meaningful life transition. So, it's a no from me. I kinda of felt uncomfortable as well, getting gifts, especially since i knew plenty of folk were not well off, and i earn good salary in comparison to them - and we have a better ability to save/earn than them - so telling folks to put the money towards their accommodation felt like a good balance - gave them the opportunity to enjoy day more - we had the wedding 1 year ago on Wine Farm in South Africa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairbairn Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 I didn't do a wedding list but they can be a good idea for young couples moving in to their first house/flat together where they are having to get everything from scratch. As most couples getting married these days are not in that position it is a bit cheeky to say "well we've got this kettle but can you buy me that better one"?! In terms of the charity thing we did that instead of favours on the table. We picked 2 charities (Cancer Research & British Heart Foundation) and rather than spend £3-£4 per head on a wee trinket to sit on their table we made the same donation (plus a bit extra) to the respective charities. The charity also provided us with a wee card to sit at each setting saying a donation had been made on their behalf and also a wee pin badge. It went down really well with our guests and it was great seeing how many people had their wee badges on at the end of the night. I've lost count of the amount of weddings I've been to where the favours are left on table at the end of the night so this seemed a miles more productive way to spend the money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnyTJS Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 We just didn't tell anyone (apart from the two witnesses a week or so before). I assume our intention was posted somewhere as per the law but I don't know where and neither of our families knew anything about it. I can't remember how much the licence and admin. cost, but all in it was definitely under 100 quid. Rings added a bit to that, come to think of it ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishcumnock Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 Carry oots , weed, emergency viagra and a tent in case it goes tits up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thewolf_1980 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 We used a wedding list because we were on the verge of buying a new house and would rather receive stuff we wanted rather than getting 20 sets of bath towels or whatever. I wasn't overly keen at first and was concerned that it's a bit cheeky but it's quite common nowadays and worked quite well for us. A lot of people ignored the list and got us vouchers anyway, which were equally useful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamntg Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 (edited) We didn't do a wedding list and we just got random stuff which was fine. EDIT : That could well be the most pointless and uninteresting post I've ever written, and I've written a few. Edited March 6, 2017 by adamntg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giblet Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 dont see the harm as it helps the couple and its easy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish Gills Mcginty Posted March 6, 2017 Author Share Posted March 6, 2017 I appreciate the replies, I don't particularly agree with doing a list. But as I said people will buy us stuff regardless so I kind of see the sense in making a list of stuff that we'll actually use instead of 6 teasmaids and 4 irons. So a trip round John Lewis with a wee scanner in a buying frenzy it must be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandydunn Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 For my first wedding,we had a list set up,felt uncomfortable,but everyone kept asking for one,so thought we be as we'll do one. The second one,we told people we wanted their presence,not presents. No one listened to us,loads of bottles,cash and gift vouchers. She insisted it went on something useful,I agreed with her. Got a 50" tv and soundbar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parklife Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 5 minutes ago, dandydunn said: Got a 50" tv Chav. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newryrep Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 17 hours ago, Fish Gills Mcginty said: What's folks opinions on wedding lists? I've to traipse round a department putting shit I don't need on a wedding list, apparently its the best thing to do nowadays. And what about getting vouchers to pay for the honeymoon? it all seems a bit cheeky to me. We straight up asked for donations of money as we were getting our kitchen done up. It not like years ago where you both lived with your parents and then moved out into a marital home . Says its for an extension or something The guests donated, we got a new kitchen... everybody happy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TDYER63 Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 3 hours ago, thewolf_1980 said: We used a wedding list because we were on the verge of buying a new house and would rather receive stuff we wanted rather than getting 20 sets of bath towels or whatever. I wasn't overly keen at first and was concerned that it's a bit cheeky but it's quite common nowadays and worked quite well for us. A lot of people ignored the list and got us vouchers anyway, which were equally useful. I would agree with this as I was the person that got 20 towel bales, all in dashing 1980's peach and avocado. I think lists are fine so long as the items are geared towards what guests can afford. There is always gift vouchers for larger items. I agree with the poster who feels that far too much money is spent on weddings these days , however I would also refrain from being too frugal. My brother and his fiance had set a day for their wedding and my husband ( boyfriend at that time) spotted an opportunity to save some dosh by pigging backing on the back of their wedding by having a double wedding. Miraculoulsy my brothers fiance agreed to this. However cheap double weddings bring their own problems. The vicar got completely confused with all the people involved and tried to marry my brothers fiance off to my cousin. The hotel ran out of food as too many people had chosen chicken for their main course so the remaining guests had to make do with fish suppers from the nearby chippy. The hotel only had 1 decent bedroom so we had to toss a coin as to who got it after the reception, the other couple got it the next evening . We lost so my husband and i i had to come back to the hotel the next night. I can assure it wasnt worth the effort. And i am not entirely sure the bed sheets had been cleaned. We had our wedding breakfast in Cardosis in Paisley, I full fry up. It is by some miracle we are still married almost 30 yrs on. So, getting back to the avocado towels ..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
they've_been_suckered Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 I was one of the first of my pals to get married, didn't do a wedding list as it didn't sit well with me. Got some gifts that were extremely generous but didn't expect anything. Giving a present - I'd look to spend £50 per person attending (e.g. £100 from Me and the missus) if I was at an all day event. That's just me though. Weddings in general just become a ridiculous expense for absolutely everyone involved. It's all about consumerism and greed these days. No wonder the divorce rate is at >40% since 2000! Hope your plans are going well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killiefaetheferry Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 18 hours ago, Fish Gills Mcginty said: What's folks opinions on wedding lists? I've to traipse round a department putting shit I don't need on a wedding list, apparently its the best thing to do nowadays. And what about getting vouchers to pay for the honeymoon? it all seems a bit cheeky to me. We were very clear tp people that we absolutely did not want any presents at all, but that we would be grateful if they made a small donation to charity at their own discretion. We were also getting married abroad, so made it clear again that especially if they were going to travel then don't spend daft money on stuff we didn't need. 50 odd made it so naebody had any dosh left over ! Each to their own though.......that was what felt right for us, but we were 35 and 40 and both working full time, and had our own house etc. I can see the sense in a list if it is a couple yet to 'set up home' together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish Gills Mcginty Posted March 6, 2017 Author Share Posted March 6, 2017 Well that's the thing, I've had my own house for 15 years, we're not fancy! really don't need Royal Dalton crockery and the likes. The wedding is going to be at least 30k, (including honeymoon), and that's by no means fancy, the venue is nice enough but modest. I'd have rather pissed of to Vegas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbcmfc Posted March 6, 2017 Share Posted March 6, 2017 27 minutes ago, Fish Gills Mcginty said: I'd have rather pissed of to Vegas. We got engaged in Vegas and seriously considered it! Comes with its own problems though. Wedding abroad cuts numbers but can also exclude folk you want to come and Vegas basically excludes anyone with kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish Gills Mcginty Posted March 6, 2017 Author Share Posted March 6, 2017 Yep, that's why we're not going that way... wouldn't want my grandparents to miss it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denny's Yard Posted March 7, 2017 Share Posted March 7, 2017 On 3/5/2017 at 6:38 PM, Fish Gills Mcginty said: What's folks opinions on wedding lists? I've to traipse round a department putting shit I don't need on a wedding list, apparently its the best thing to do nowadays. And what about getting vouchers to pay for the honeymoon? it all seems a bit cheeky to me. We got married in Australia, where my wife is from, so physically could not get presents back home. So we wrote on the invitation 'no gifts please, you being there is enough' or something similar. Most people put some money in with the card which was very much appreciated but not what we were angling for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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