Cocaine addiction

[Reevesy]

Anyone ever had a problem with Cocaine?

Starting to worry about myself. Not sure if addiction is the correct term because I can go months without it but when I do take it I binge for days and don't know when to call it a night. Had some left over yesterday and found myself taking it during work. Pretty embarrassed about it and worried that it's become a problem. 

Would like to stop taking it completely but it's everywhere in my social circle so it's easier said than done. Don't really know why I am starting a thread about it tbh but I don't want to talk to my family about it as they'll just worry.

Do I have an addiction or am I just full of the fear due to my come down and being dramatic ? lol.

[sbcmfc]

20 minutes ago, Reevesy said:

Had some left over yesterday and found myself taking it during work. Pretty embarrassed about it and worried that it's become a problem. 

I get your point about the peer pressure etc. but that sounds like something you did off your own steam.

Based on friends and acquaintances that have found themselves in the same place you are, removing yourself from these situations and/or having a reason not to do it are what worked for them.

My mate wanted to be a better father to his kids and that was his motivation. He tends to just disappear up the road now, rather than get involved in going back to a house party, which was where the gear came out.

Good luck!

[Nobby]

26 minutes ago, Reevesy said:

Anyone ever had a problem with Cocaine?

Starting to worry about myself. Not sure if addiction is the correct term because I can go months without it but when I do take it I binge for days and don't know when to call it a night. Had some left over yesterday and found myself taking it during work. Pretty embarrassed about it and worried that it's become a problem. 

Would like to stop taking it completely but it's everywhere in my social circle so it's easier said than done. Don't really know why I am starting a thread about it tbh but I don't want to talk to my family about it as they'll just worry.

Do I have an addiction or am I just full of the fear due to my come down and being dramatic ? lol.

Marching powder at work, and binges  for days would seem to imply you've gone past he casual user stage !!. Im sure on here will be more useful but get yourself some help if you cant jack it in on your own.

With the best will in the world I would also suggest changing your social circle, one of my best friends lost everything because of that shite and is still trying to piece his life back years later.

Listen to Zammo ;-) 

[Reevesy]

7 minutes ago, sbcmfc said:

I get your point about the peer pressure etc. but that sounds like something you did off your own steam.

Based on friends and acquaintances that have found themselves in the same place you are, removing yourself from these situations and/or having a reason not to do it are what worked for them.

My mate wanted to be a better father to his kids and that was his motivation. He tends to just disappear up the road now, rather than get involved in going back to a house party, which was where the gear came out.

Good luck!

Thanks for the reply.  I have two young kids myself which is probably the reason that I've started to feel guilty about my usage. 

I went a few months without it or alcohol but had a drink on Saturday which lead to me to me buying the gear. Had more on Sunday at the game which lead to me going out Sunday night too. Scared to check my bank account. I'm actually a bit of a fud.

Worst thing is that I don't even really enjoy it. My heart is racing like feck today and I look like complete crap due to not shaving since Friday. Definitely have "the fear".

 

[Reevesy]

12 minutes ago, Nobby said:

Marching powder at work, and binges  for days would seem to imply you've gone past he casual user stage !!. Im sure on here will be more useful but get yourself some help if you cant jack it in on your own.

With the best will in the world I would also suggest changing your social circle, one of my best friends lost everything because of that shite and is still trying to piece his life back years later.

Listen to Zammo ;-) 

I really do need to change my social circle but the problem is that I'd need that become a recluse. All my friends do at the weekend is get off their faces at the football.

Pretty sad I know.

 

[Fugitive]

Not being funny Reevesy but find new friends.

In Glasgow in my late teens./early 20s I was in a similar situation. ALL my mates took or dealt speed - I moved away from home and started again to get out of the situation. A bit severe in your case but you need to make the changes that's best for your life and family.

[sbcmfc]

23 minutes ago, Reevesy said:

I really do need to change my social circle but the problem is that I'd need that become a recluse. All my friends do at the weekend is get off their faces at the football.

Pretty sad I know.

 

Everyone has a sensible mate, surely you have one?

Are you with the kids Mum or someone else? Could you spend more time in her social circle?

Presuming access to your kids isn't an issue, there's loads of things you can do with them at the weekend. As your kids get older you can maybe take them to the games?

Dont miss out on them growing up because you're not there, or curled up in a ball on the couch.

You probably do need to remove yourself from the situation either completely, or be really disciplined.

That'll be difficult, as you'll be the coke equivalent in the old chewing the fat "take a drink" sketch.

I avoided being pressured into it, as my mate knew I wasn't interested, I just like a drink, and the other g uys were all too mean (or selfish, as I think that's a part of the problem) to share anyway.

Edited March 7, 2017 by sbcmfc

[Reevesy]

2 minutes ago, Fugitive said:

Not being funny Reevesy but find new friends.

In Glasgow in my late teens./early 20s I was in a similar situation. ALL my mates took or dealt speed - I moved away from home and started again to get out of the situation. A bit severe in your case but you need to make the changes that's best for your life and family.

I've had the same group of friends since I was in primary school. I'm 32 this year so it's not so easy to meet new pals. You're right though. I feel like I should try.

I enquired last week about joining the Gracie Barra gym in the town to do kickboxing so that could be a start.

[sbcmfc]

3 minutes ago, Reevesy said:

I enquired last week about joining the Gracie Barra gym in the town to do kickboxing so that could be a start.

Sounds a bit of a cliche, but getting a hobby is a great idea.

Different circumstances, but a mate of mine moved away with his wife, now split up, but can't move home because of kids. So on his own. He's taken up running (and pumping birds he meets on the internet, but that's a different topic) and met loads of new people that he shares an interest with.

[Reevesy]

2 minutes ago, sbcmfc said:

 

Everyone has a sensible mate, surely you have one?

As your kids get older you can maybe take them to the games? Are you with the kids Mum or someone else? Could you spend more time in her social circle?

You probably do need to remove yourself from the situation either completely, or be quite disciplined.

That'll be difficult, as you'll be the guy in the old chewing the fat "take a drink" sketch.

I avoided being pressured into it, as my mate knew I wasn't interested, I just like a drink, and the other guys were all too mean to share anyway.

Haha I do have some sensible friends but every time we get together it's for a drink/line. I can't blame anyone else for me taking it at work though. That was my own fault.

Yes I'm with the kids Mum, I honestly don't know how she puts up with me. This morning she said I was the perfect dad and partner until I take cocaine and I become a different person. That's what inspired me to start this thread. I'm totally ashamed of myself. I've been in denial for ages I think. I don't want my son to have a cocaine abuser for a role model.

[scoobydoo]

If its months between blowouts then its not as much of problem than if its every weekend.

You just need to be strict with yourself when the situation next arises, that'll probably determine how you'll end up in the future.

[Dalgety Bay TA]

Don't think you have a problem and you have admitted you are ashamed so you realise what you have done isn't the best, you aren't just writing it off as a "mad weekend".

With the best will in the world here, its all about will power and self control. I would hate to have to ditch my mates and I probably wouldn't but you have to be able to say no when the gear comes out. They shouldn't think any the worse of you and they should respect your decision without trying to pressure you into it, well they will if they are genuinely good mates.

[Reevesy]

3 minutes ago, scoobydoo said:

If its months between blowouts then its not as much of problem than if its every weekend.

You just need to be strict with yourself when the situation next arises, that'll probably determine how you'll end up in the future.

I just don't trust myself with it any more at all. I used to be fine on it but have started be really greedy with it the past few years. 

I'm actually considering just watching the game on TV this Sunday. Everyone will be sniffing from about 8am probably.

[Reevesy]

7 minutes ago, Dalgety Bay TA said:

Don't think you have a problem and you have admitted you are ashamed so you realise what you have done isn't the best, you aren't just writing it off as a "mad weekend".

With the best will in the world here, its all about will power and self control. I would hate to have to ditch my mates and I probably wouldn't but you have to be able to say no when the gear comes out. They shouldn't think any the worse of you and they should respect your decision without trying to pressure you into it, well they will if they are genuinely good mates.

They don't pressure me to be fair. It's just always available and I kick the arse out of it. Ended up in a fight on Saturday night that could have been easily avoided but in my coked up state I go and get involved. I'm such a dick. I have a lengthy criminal record already and almost all of it is stuff I've done full of the gear.

I hadn't even noticed that until now. My missus is right. It makes me a different person 

[Dalgety Bay TA]

10 minutes ago, Reevesy said:

They don't pressure me to be fair. It's just always available and I kick the arse out of it. Ended up in a fight on Saturday night that could have been easily avoided but in my coked up state I go and get involved. I'm such a dick. I have a lengthy criminal record already and almost all of it is stuff I've done full of the gear.

I hadn't even noticed that until now. My missus is right. It makes me a different person 

You are certainly giving yourself plenty of reasons in this thread not to get involved in it again, its then carrying them through and saying no which is obviously the harder part but the part which you have to crack if you really want to give it up. Good luck though, you know what you have to do and to be honest your wife/partner and kids should be the biggest and best incentive you need to do so.

[Reevesy]

Thanks for all the replies.

Sorry for the depressing thread but find it easier to talk to strangers about it.

[biffer]

First step to dealing with a problem is admitting you have one, which it seems you've done. There are places to get help and you'll meet people in similar situations - not everyone in these programmes lives on the street and is a daily use addict. I've not known closely anyone with a drug problem that I was aware of, but have had mates who've needed help with gambling addictions and alcohol problems.

[dandydunn]

When you go out,do you feel that you really need it,or does it just happen because that's what goes on?

Could you stop for a second and look at the £100 or whatever and say,what if I don't buy it and buy the kids something else instead. 

Or not take as much cash with you?

Plenty people out there to help you,that won't have a clue who you are either and have been in the situation. 

Without wanting to sound grim and over dramatic,my step children's dad died from an overdose,I've seen first hand how it affected their lives. 

You can stop,but you really need to want to first,which to be fair,it sounds like you do

Good luck. 

Edited March 7, 2017 by dandydunn

[Reevesy]

10 minutes ago, dandydunn said:

When you go out,do you feel that you really need it,or does it just happen because that's what goes on?

Could you stop for a second and look at the £100 or whatever and say,what if I don't buy it and buy the kids something else instead. 

Or not take as much cash with you?

Plenty people out there to help you,that won't have a clue who you are either and have been in the situation. 

Without wanting to sound grim and over dramatic,my step children's dad died from an overdose,I've seen first hand how it affected their lives. 

You can stop,but you really need to want to first,which to be fair,it sounds like you do

Good luck. 

I wouldn't say I need it as such but as soon as I have that first line then I'll keep going and going until it runs out. 

Taking it at work is a new low for me though. Would have been sacked instantly if I had been caught and I really can't afford to lose my job with two kids at home. I've done a few daft things in my time but never thought I'd get to the point of sniffing gear on my own on a Monday afternoon. I must have looked pretty pathetic.

 

And sorry to hear about your kids' dad. That must have been heartbreaking for them. 

Edited March 7, 2017 by Reevesy

[Mindimoo]

Get help now before it's too late.  Sounds cliched but think of the kids.  I've seen close friend's families devastated beyond belief by drugs and drink.

Good  luck!

[Reevesy]

7 minutes ago, Mindimoo said:

Get help now before it's too late.  Sounds cliched but think of the kids.  I've seen close friend's families devastated beyond belief by drugs and drink.

Good  luck!

Thank you. I thought I had it under control and wasn't any different from anyone else who takes it but this weekend has shown me that it's still having a negative impact on me and I can't just have the odd one or two lines like everybody else seems to manage. 

I need to grow up a bit if I'm honest. Getting into fights with strangers at my age is just embarrassing. Sitting out my tits at work is even worse.

[Och Aye]

Difficult dropping your mates they're probably all decent guys. Probably one or two in your circle who can't have a drink without taking it. Speak to  others in the group, they more than likely feel the same as you. Limit how much cash you take out. Work out how much your day out will be roughly without buying the coke and leave the bank cards at home. They'll soon stop offering free lines. Tell them you want to give it a break.

[Reevesy]

2 minutes ago, Och Aye said:

Difficult dropping your mates they're probably all decent guys. Probably one or two in your circle who can't have a drink without taking it. Speak to  others in the group, they more than likely feel the same as you. Limit how much cash you take out. Work out how much your day out will be roughly without buying the coke and leave the bank cards at home. They'll soon stop offering free lines. Tell them you want to give it a break.

That's good advice. The match on Sunday will be a test of will power. I'm actually considering going in the car instead of our supporters bus, but I'd rather not have to avoid my mates because I don't trust myself to behave like an adult.

[hunchy]

Even though it's not every week it does sound like you have the beginnings of an addiction. BUT you are seeing what it's doing to you and the situations you are getting in and realise it's becoming a problem. Some people are naturally inclined to addiction and this can lead to them having serious drug or drink problems but if you channel that addiction into something good or at least not damaging them at least it takes you away from the things like drugs and drink. For me I went loopy with weed when I was younger all I wanted to do was get stoned I didn't have a big circle of friends as I just wanted to hide away. Eventually I got into online gaming which helped me. I could go on and have a good blast on whatever game we were playing and that helped me escape from life for a few hours. Sometimes the best way to treat addiction is to sort that part of you life that you are trying to escape. For some it's work for some it's the abuse they went through when they were younger. The point being there is always something we are trying to escape from and it's finding a way to escape that's not going to kill you or destroy your family

[Reevesy]

I don't really think there's anything bothering me that I'm trying to escape from. Certainly not abuse or anything like that. Possibly the death of two of my mates a couple of years ago, but I thought I was dealing with that reasonably well. Your post has made me think but I'd have thought I'd be taking it every day if it was to block something out.

I think it's more that I just make some bad decisions and my social circle doesn't help. I don't think it's an addiction but I definitely abuse it from time to time. Hearing my missus say she dreads me taking it has made me feel awful. I only have myself to blame for that though.