Tambs for the memories

[Glasgowmancity]

Paddy says to Mick "am thinking of buying a Labrador"....."feck that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners end up blind" 

Edited September 12, 2017 by Glasgowmancity

[Scotty CTA]

7 hours ago, thplinth said:

Would that change have involved you 'converting her in any way?

I can't 'convert'. I can only point out the direction.

7 hours ago, thplinth said:

I never thought it was another person posting under her name but I did notice a significant change which was most noticeable in how certain she suddenly became in her beliefs.

Possibly similar to a former smoker preaching non-smoking?

7 hours ago, thplinth said:

 It was after this change that most of the troubles started. 

Her detractors in Admin. claimed one of her links had contaminated the TAMB.

7 hours ago, thplinth said:

There is of course someone else on here who is very certain in their beliefs... 

Are they atheist? (because there's quite a few of those).

7 hours ago, thplinth said:

And these websites she visited, were they ones provided by you maybe? 

No

7 hours ago, thplinth said:

 I sense your pride in 'saving' her.

I can't 'save' anyone.

I can only point to the One Who can.

(I do however have a joy from the privilege of being able to play a small part toward the salvation of another.) 

Edited September 12, 2017 by Scotty CTA

[wheres the pies]

I said to the baker, " how come all your cakes are 50p & that ones a £1 ?"

he said " that's Madeira cake " 

[dandydunn]

Just a got a ticket on my window when I parked outside Asda. Went away to argue with them over it, I was directly beneath a sign that clearly read PARKING FINE. 

Turns out it wasn't a compliment  

[Ormond]

Did you hear about the Aberdonian shellfish fisherman tadger contest?

It was to see who had the langoustine.

[Toepoke]

I've been suffering from insomnia and it's driving me mental.

Still, it's only three sleeps til Christmas...

 

[fringo]

I was telling a mate that my wife was complaining about about my sexual prowess so I got a rocket surgically attached to my willie.

He asked : "What does she think about it ?"

I replied : "She's over the moon".

[Ally Bongo]

"When I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car, i was told the keys had been locked in it.

I went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the Driver's door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door-handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'it's open!'

His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.'
 

This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans , Hertfordshire.
 

[Scotty CTA]

NEWSFLASH...

"A midget spiritualist has escaped from jail.

Police say be on the lookout for a small medium at large."

[popkean1314foreva]

My wife became more and more obsessed with the main character from the Planet of the Apes film ,until  eventually she ran away to A Serkiss . 

[thplinth]

Still get a chuckle out of the original Kev thread. Forget exactly who it was now (I think Louch) but after a TAMb thread encouraging people to reveal their 'real' name to which Kumnio amusingly posted 'Kevin Umnio' (why not as it is his real name) the aforementioned poster (ok Louch) started to address him frequently as Kevin. Why are you calling me Kev he says... You said it was your name on that thread he says... And you believed me! he says...(End of dialogue). Kev has been Kev kever since.

Edited September 13, 2017 by thplinth

[kumnio]

15 minutes ago, thplinth said:

Still get a chuckle out of the original Kev thread. Forget exactly who it was now (I think Louch) but after a TAMb thread encouraging people to reveal their 'real' name to which Kumnio amusingly posted 'Kevin Umnio' (why not as it is his real name) the aforementioned poster (ok Louch) started to address him frequently as Kevin. Why are you calling me Kev he says... You said it was your name on that thread he says... And you believed me! he says...(End of dialogue). Kev has been Kev kever since.

Kevs no happy with that.

[thplinth]

7 minutes ago, kumnio said:

Kevs no happy with that.

Yes, I recall you mentioned your brother was called Kevin also. That must be quite rare... two Kevs as brothers.

[Stu101]

On 9/10/2017 at 11:07 PM, Reevesy said:

If Rangers and their fans hadn't tried to peddle that same club myth then nobody would have even mentioned liquidation after a few months, IMO.

If Celtic fans could only understand the law, as pointed out to you previously

[Cove_Sheep]

1 hour ago, thplinth said:

Yes, I recall you mentioned your brother was called Kevin also. That must be quite rare... two Kevs as brothers.

Even in Dundee?

[Flat Earth]

1 hour ago, thplinth said:

Yes, I recall you mentioned your brother was called Kevin also. That must be quite rare... two Kevs as brothers.

Wasn't unusual in Lewis. There was a very strong tradition of naming children after previous generations to the point where it all got a bit silly. Girls called Kenina and Donalda and Ronaldina for instance, named after uncles or fathers or grandfathers called Kenneth, Donald and Rodderick. This usually happened when the hoped for sons never arrived and eventually girls had to be given the names. But apart from that my grandfather had two sisters called Effie and another two sisters called Margaret. Named after different Effies and Margarets of course. 

[sbcmfc]

2 hours ago, thplinth said:

Still get a chuckle out of the original Kev thread. Forget exactly who it was now (I think Louch) but after a TAMb thread encouraging people to reveal their 'real' name to which Kumnio amusingly posted 'Kevin Umnio' (why not as it is his real name) the aforementioned poster (ok Louch) started to address him frequently as Kevin. Why are you calling me Kev he says... You said it was your name on that thread he says... And you believed me! he says...(End of dialogue). Kev has been Kev kever since.

I've never had any real need to know his real name, but I'd picked up on that, and thought that was his real name. Assumptions I'd made based on that are probably inaccurate.

My mental picture of "kevin" might need re-addressed....

Edited September 13, 2017 by sbcmfc

[kumnio]

This thread has given me a wee laugh anyway. 

[Charlie Endell]

On ‎12‎/‎09‎/‎2017 at 5:23 PM, wheres the pies said:

I said to the baker, " how come all your cakes are 50p & that ones a £1 ?"

he said " that's Madeira cake " 

[Ally Bongo]

Why did the baker have smelly hands ?

He was kneading a jobby....

 

What do you call a jobby with one eye ?

Keek

 

 

[Glasgowmancity]

14 hours ago, sbcmfc said:

I've never had any real need to know his real name, but I'd picked up on that, and thought that was his real name. Assumptions I'd made based on that are probably inaccurate.

My mental picture of "kevin" might need re-addressed....

Unfortunately in Lithuania, I never realised it was Kev I was talking to 

 

Edited September 14, 2017 by Glasgowmancity

[calmac_man]

Flat Earth told me recently that TAMB was about to snuff it, so I thought I'd come back, like a character from the third season of a series that about to end, for a bit of nostalgia and to say goodbye.

For those who don't know me, I basically lived on TAMB until about 8 or 9 years ago, if memory serves. It was a lot of fun, but it probably wasn't good for me. I encountered many stella fellas and lassies, and met more in real life. I'm not going to risk insulting anyone by listing those I liked and those I miss, but so many names on the threads about TAMB closing brought back happy memories. I argued with a lot of people I wish I hadn't, and I suspect I'd have been less rude if I'd been posting in my own name. Sorry to anyone I offended... unless you deserved it.

I will pick out two people though, and that's our good friends in Inverurie. I hope they'll forgive me for sharing a story. My mum was recovering from surgery for mouth cancer and was going to Aberdeen for treatment in yon big tank they put nearly-dead divers in. Yes, really. She wanted me to take her up for an overnight assessment at the start of it, so I needed a place to stay. Though it was pretty cheeky, I asked FE and Lamia if I could kip at theirs. They put me up and showed me kindness at a time when I was really worried. It meant a lot that they did it, but it meant even more that I knew I could ask them, even though I'd only met them in person a handful of times. They're just that kind of people.

I never did a "feck yeeze all, I'm away" post when I chucked it because I hated it when people did that. If you're going, go. But here at the end of all things it seems a good time to say why I did.

It's no coincidence that within two years of quitting TAMB I'd been promoted twice at work. I'm sure that would have happened sooner if I hadn't spent so much time, and so much of my mental energy, on TAMB. I'd like to say self-realisation was why I quit, but it's really much less impressive.

TAMB was always a great place to discuss politics, history, the world, and learn from people who knew more than I did, or saw things differently for me. I had my mind changed on all sorts of things, from circumcision to supporting Celtic (is there a connection there?). There was a good number of people who you could bicker with, but retain and build respect for. That was changing as the political situation in Scotland changed, and I felt the place was becoming over-run with fundamentalist nats.

I've been a supporter of Scottish independence since 1997, when I was 22, and a member of the SNP since 1999. I was brought up in a typical west of Scotland Labour household, and most of the values I learned are still very important to me. I was never against independence, I just thought there were more important things. I still do. Poverty and inequality at home and abroad, climate change and environmental damage, global conflict and the rise of racists at home - these all matter more than any flags and songs. I want Scotland to be independent because I think it will be better for the things I care about, not because of esoteric notions of sovereignty and freeeeeeedom. I'll leave that stuff to the Ukippers.

Things turned pretty weird around here when that viewpoint started getting me sneered at as a conditional nationalist, or a plastic nationalist. What exactly is an unconditional nationalist anyway, and why would that be something to be proud of? I got dog's abuse for saying that I would be against independence if I thought it would mean the poorest 10% of people in Scotland became meaningfully worse off. That's surely a reasonable position, even if you don't share it, and I'm sure it reflects the vast majority of people in this country. It's entirely theoretical as I'm confident independence would be best for the worst off, and I said so, but I got thoroughly mocked for it. That pissed me off.

At that time the same TAMBers were calling anyone who disagreed with them yoons and Britnats - to my embarrassment I often fell into that too. There are Britnats out there, but most of the people who voted No aren't "nat" anything. We just didn't persuade them of our case. I don't imagine calling them Britnats helped.

The atmosphere here was turning ugly and extremist and I hated it. TAMB was always very pro-independence, but the decent folk held the centre of gravity. That changed. I dipped in a few times over the years, especially during the indyref campaign, and I thought TAMB had become horrible. I honestly don't know how the unionist TAMBers who are still here stuck it out, especially the Rangers fans.

I'm sure some people will read this and say I just couldn't hack the criticism and I spat the dummy. They'd have a point and I wouldn't argue with someone who wants to take that view. I've never claimed to be thick skinned, nor would I want to be. But for years I had no problem with people taking on every position I held, including things I cared about more than independence. If I did the whole multi-quote argument thing with you, it meant I respected what you'd said and wanted to respond to it. (Neilser. Why was it so often Neilser? Always liked him too.) There's no value in arguing with a fundamentalist though, because the only thing that matters to them is the depth of your loyalty, measured by how little you question the group's beliefs. I was outnumbered and outgunned, and I knew I was wasting my time and energy. Any attempt at nuance (like when I wondered why estates with the same socio-economics in Perth and the central belt voted so differently) was met with FOUR LEGS GOOD, TWO LEGS BAD.

So that's why I chucked it. If you think that makes me a pussy, fair enough.

Not for nothing, but during the campaign my wife and I barely saw each other for well over a year, I used weeks of my holidays to do nothing but campaign, and it was my life. And I'll do it again for indyref 2. Nobody gets to question my loyalty to the cause.

A few other things I want to say - if I'm boring you now, just move on. I was a Mod for a while and I'm proud of having been part of that. We always tried to allow any issue to be debated, with limits only on how. So much of the online world is really unpleasant, and we felt it was part of the Tartan Army's ethos that it was a welcoming place for everyone. So no topic was off the table, but we were tough on abuse. I think the result of that was a wider range of contributors, talking in a different way than on other football forums, and that's a part of what made it special for a time.

The biggest lesson of being a Mod though was seeing the Admin team up close, and all that they did. I couldn't have done it. The time and skill that went into raising the money and running the site was beyond me. I hope a dedicated group can come forward and take over TAMB, but nobody should underestimate what it took for volunteers to make it what it is... or what it was.

All the Mods and Admin were sound af, but I'm not going to out anyone. Phart knew I was a mod because I once posted in the wrong place, and used my super-powers to shift the post. It was literally a 3 second job. Just my luck that suspicious b'stard happened to catch me in the act!

On my 15 minutes of TAMB fame - for the record, I did not phone every mortuary in Glasgow. I phoned every crematorium in the south west of Scotland. I appreciate that's not normal behaviour but I'm one of those guys that when I need to know something, I really need to know. I often think of our not-dead friend, and I hope his life is better for having been forced to deal with aspects of his life with which he was struggling. I only posted what I did because some people were getting really, really angry at people I knew were right. I'm still not convinced I did the right thing and I wonder how much of it was down to my ego.

The Hibbee jumping out of the plane though... it would take a heart of stone not to laugh at that.

Anyway, now I'm off to search my name, to see if anyone's been talking about me in my absence. Don't tell me you haven't done it yourself.

[DonnyTJS]

Thanks for dropping by again. That was a good read.

[Toepoke]

On Thursday, September 14, 2017 at 0:59 PM, Ally Bongo said:

Why did the baker have smelly hands ?

He was kneading a jobby....

That's a good example of a joke that works better spoken than written.

"Operator, get me an ambulance, I'm pregnant and ma waters have just burst"

"OK madam, where are you ringing from?"

"Fae ma f**kin' fanny tae ma feet!"

 

[G-Man]

Calmac lovely to 'see' and read you.