redstevie007 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) Thanks for the heads up. Lets send that idea off on a cruise and see if it comes back with a tan. Superb. Got a meeting with da management this morning and I'm going to use that Edited October 24, 2014 by redstevie007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andreimack Posted October 24, 2014 Author Share Posted October 24, 2014 Folk that use a lot of jingo speak and buzzwords at work "let's touch base so we are singing off the same hymn sheet as it's a potential win-win scenario" SHUT UP YA FACKING TOOL That's my boss summed up perfectly, proper fecking cockney knob rocket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andreimack Posted October 24, 2014 Author Share Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) Thanks for the heads up. Lets send that idea off on a cruise and see if it comes back with a tan. That's fvcking brilliant, I work in the shipping industry and I'm stealing that one, my boss will cream his drawers at it. Fringo you've made my day mate Edited October 24, 2014 by andreimack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrantP Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Anyone using the word "banter" and any variation there of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flure Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Anyone using the word "banter" and any variation there of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairbairn Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Folk that use a lot of jingo speak and buzzwords at work "let's touch base so we are singing off the same hymn sheet as it's a potential win-win scenario" SHUT UP YA FACKING TOOL This boils my piss. A few years ago we were taken over by an American hedge fund and they brought in all these corporate s at senior management level. A few of most irritating phrases that were banded about were "let's run that up the flagpole so everyone has visibility", "let's put that idea in the fridge to keep it fresh" and "let's put that in car park and go back to it later". I used to sit in meetings chewing my knuckles to stop me punching people. Also, people who refer to their weekend as "downtime". You work in a ing call centre you overdramatic cocksocket, you're not defending an outpost in Afghanistan. Anyone using the word "banter" and any variation there of. BANTZ!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deecie Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 BANTZ!! LAD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
France here we come Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I know a guy who bought weights and got the salesman to help him carry them out to the car. That is superb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donaldo87 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Also, people who refer to their weekend as "downtime". You work in a ing call centre you overdramatic cocksocket, you're not defending an outpost in Afghanistan. Tremendous Business speak is rife in my office but going forward i'm hopeful we can minimise its footprint as long as we touch base regularly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairbairn Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Tremendous Business speak is rife in my office but going forward i'm hopeful we can minimise its footprint as long as we touch base regularly It's fecking contagious though. I was presenting something in a meeting yesterday and said "if you think of our corporate structure as like a pyramid" and then made a pyramid shape with my fingers! I realised what I'd done immediately and counter acted it by apologising to the room for being "wanky". Which went down well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redstevie007 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Superb. Got a meeting with da management this morning and I'm going to use that Just come out of my meeting. I'm doing some marketing/recruitment stuff at the moment and someone suggested an idea - 'Great', I said, 'let's send that off on a cruise and see if it comes back with a tan'. went down a storm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairbairn Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Just come out of my meeting. I'm doing some marketing/recruitment stuff at the moment and someone suggested an idea - 'Great', I said, 'let's send that off on a cruise and see if it comes back with a tan'. went down a storm... Somebody will be on a forum somewhere saying " you'll never believe what this in my work just said during a meeting"!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred_Zeppelin Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 People who go to the gym. People who burn scented candles. Elderly holiday home owners. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armchair Bob Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) I love corporate bullshit. Recently had a meeting where I told folk to visualise a set of projects like the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Each project was like a wee robot called a Zord, which all combined to make a huge robot called a Megazord. If I'd been a highly paid consultant they would have thought I was the mutts nuts. Instead they just looked at me like I was David fekking Brent. Edited October 24, 2014 by Armchair Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 people who have to be prompted to get their round in ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fairbairn Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 people who have to be prompted to get their round in ! And in addition to that, groups of people (mostly students) who go up to the bar mob handed and then all buy individual drinks rather than rounds! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred_Zeppelin Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 And in addition to that, groups of people (mostly students) who go up to the bar mob handed and then all buy individual drinks rather than rounds! My son does that. I think it's a good thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arabfaetheweej Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Paving stones that hide a tsunami underneath. Particularly annoying when the ground is dry so you venture out wearing your brand new white gutties only to have them stained jobby brown by the ninja wave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigcouper Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 The general public Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redstevie007 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Somebody will be on a forum somewhere saying " you'll never believe what this flower pot in my work just said during a meeting"!! Baws, never thought of that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest daslondon Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 And in addition to that, groups of people (mostly students) who go up to the bar mob handed and then all buy individual drinks rather than rounds! Worse than this are people who take orders for a round of team coffees and are ahead of me in the queue.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitre Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Ah was hoping you were going to say ravenscraig as I work with someone who worked there Your mate will probably know my old man as he was quite high up and there to the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShedTA Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 People that sniff constantly. Blow yer f#cking nose for f#cks sake!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShedTA Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Worse than this are people who take orders for a round of team coffees and are ahead of me in the queue.. aaaargh yes, my heart sinks at a bar when the person in front orders coffees. Its a bar. its for beer! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitre Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 My son does that. I think it's a good thing. Minky behaviour. If you go for a gargle with him and yer mates, would you be happy if he said im buying my own. My old man would've rapped my jaw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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