Fatherhood

[Huddersfield]

My wife made a determined effort to get my lad to support Shrewsbury Town for no reason other than she remembered them tw@tting us 5-1 at home some years previously. It took patience, pressure, threats of domestic violence & a free season ticket with crisps & chocolate thrown in to win that argument.

[tartandon]

Don't listen to anybody else here.......

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nae words of wisdom here. All the best. I hope you're raising our future world cup winning skipper.

[Robroysboy]

Wee tip for bottles (if you are using them).

fill them to 2/3 of the required amount with boiling water then stick them in the fridge (once cooled) . Then when the time comes you just need to fill it to the correct level with boiling water and add formula. Brings it to the perfect temp. Seems quite a basic thing but at 4am not having to wait 15-20 mins on a bottle cooling whilst the wean screams is vital for your sanity.

great advise, just don't tell the midwife- they get frosty if they find out. Caught the weirdo looking in my fridge for evidence. talk about big brother. lol

[fishcumnock]

Take turns feeding him , alternative nights ,this geez ye a kip every odd night ,its better than nane !

i delivered the last one , had a towel ready -would have been better with a catchers mitt , flew oot .

let them decide , point out negatives then back them if possible , works for me .

oh and when they're 15 they want to /think they can take ye !

[At U Peter]

You'll be amazed at how natural everything comes to you. I hadn't a clue about babies but as soon as I got my boy home from the hospital it was like I had been doing it for years.

Enjoy, and best of luck to you both.

Edited May 5, 2015 by At U Peter

[Angus_Young]

great advise, just don't tell the midwife- they get frosty if they find out. Caught the weirdo looking in my fridge for evidence. talk about big brother. lol

You wonder how weans ever survived with some of the shite they tell you.

Saying that I've got nothing but praise for the staff that looked after us. First class from start to finish.

[dezmondo]

When they are babies they will cry for one of these reasons and nothing else.....wind, dirty nappy, tired, hunger. So if there's no dirty nappy and they're not due a feed, wind them and if nothing happens then get them to sleep. They don't cry for nothing!

With feeding, the key is wind wind wind!

Kids are the best. I have four kids and always hear comments in work like for instance after a recent holiday " you'll be glad to get back to work for a rest".......eh no! I'd much rather be spending time with the kids than working and any parent who thinks otherwise is an eejit.

[scoobydoo]

Don't leave him outside the co-op in his pram and wander down the road wondering what it is you've forgot at the shops.

[scoobydoo]

and don't wheech him over your head when he has just been fed.

[neilly71]

Or even sit them up straight too quick after a feed. nothing more demoralising than sitting feeding a wean halfway through the night for an hour with your eyes down to your baws, sit them up after a feed and they spew it back up again, then restart the process!

[scoobydoo]

Ever since he was wee, my son has had fish oil capsules for brain development.

I don't know if it's any good or not but he is in a gifted kid program, additional to his school work, (the entry criteria was an average of >97% in 4 separate tests at 9 years old) where he gets additional maths and science lessons, can read music, and is fluent in Mandarin Chinese and English.

Obviously he doesn't get it from me.

[ThistleWhistle]

Our wee lass is coming up to 5 months old and it is absolutely magical. I never thought I’d be as happy as the time I double nutmegged my brother at fives with him ending up on his arse but the moment she was born totally smashes it out of the park. Some great advice on here and some things from our experience so far:

• Main one from me would be don’t worry if the bond isn’t instant – it freaked me out because in hospital I just really wasn’t feeling it. We didn’t get out of hospital properly for 10 days due to jaundice and the first time I changed her at home on the nursery changing unit she smiled at me whilst pulling the cutest face I’ve ever seen where upon my heart just melted. At this point high pressure excrement shot out of her @rse all down my front and dripping on to the cream carpet I’d argued blue in the face with a 7 month pregnant woman not to buy for this very scenario. Instead of being elated I could now score a point v the wife I shouted her upstairs proud to show off how far our bundle of joy could fire her jobby.
• Set your boundaries from day one with extended family. My old man would spoil ours rotten given half a chance; my old dear wants her to be a girly girl but both have been telt.
• Take photos on your phone once a week. Great to flick through seeing how much they change so quickly. It’s bittersweet when they no longer fit their first outfits.
• Home Visitors are just social services. Don’t break out the good biscuits for these b@stards.
• If it is c-section your wife can get sudden spasms of pain after 6 weeks. My lady had no issue until this point but it’s around this time the deep muscle tissue knits together. Also, tell her to go to the nurse regularly if possible because difficult to keep the wound clean as it gets sweaty.
• Take everyone’s advice, including Midwives, at face value and make your own mind up. On one hand your own parents’ experience is essential but on the other they’ll have taken chunks of it from their parents who raised their kids in the 60’s/70’s so stuff has moved on. Our main sources of influence is two sets of friends who’ve raised great toddlers and an acquaintance who hasn’t.
• Google/ Mumsnet are amazing resources but purely for reference. It is unlikely the symptoms are actually Congolese Swine Fever and better to trust a GP for a definitive answer if Calpol doesn’t work.
• It’ll be extremely difficult but if your lady is breast feeding under no circumstance honk her tits. Milk will soak her clothes and you’ll get a punch in the face because of how tender they are.
• Do not capitulate to your wife’s inevitable push for you to taste breast milk. It is the third most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted.
• If your wife has a malevolent streak make your own coffee – breast milk café latte is the second worst thing I have ever tasted.
• Treat your newly fed baby like an unexploded bomb. I held ours above my head once and breast milk sick is by far the worst thing I ever tasted.
• You get what you pay for with nappies. Aldi’s might save you 5p on each but will cost you 20 minutes in extra baths each major movement.
• Hide her creams because stretch marks are sexy.
• Give the wife a good few months before thinking ‘Match of the Day is on to the crap games – it’s business time!’
• If you move from breast to bottle give the little one 30 mls of cooled boiled water once a day as it can constipate them until their digestive system adjusts. Four days after the switch ours passed a solid lump and was in absolute agony doing it.
• Your wife will speak absolute horseshit when you come in from work, and likely repeat it twice more when you go to bed; it is your job to listen to it with every sinew of patience that can be mustered.
• You will speak absolute horseshit at work because baby becomes your world. I pressed the ‘go’ button on the copier this morning and out of nowhere said quite loudly ‘Green Circle’ in the manner of one of her various toys.
• Some toys are possessed. Ours has a teddy bear that has an option to play lullabies for ten minutes before automatically switching off. Half an hour after it had finished, and as I’m half asleep, across the baby monitor it announced proudly ‘my favourite food is……..MANGO!’. Creepy on various levels as that it should have been sleeping, the programmed optional responses are totally different in tone to the regular voice and mango’s make my face itch so I had specifically selected Bananas.
• Depending on circumstances take some nightshifts to give her a break – I did weekends and bizarrely changing a nappy at 4am is better than it sounds. Ours only needed wakened for feeds for a few weeks and has only had one sleepless night so far so do it from the off or you might miss it.
• You get what you put in. I keep showing our little one a picture of her uncle whilst repeating ‘Megs; megs; megs; megs; megs’ in the hope this is her first word to him.

All the best fella and best wishes

[scoobydoo]

aye, take plenty photos. the change is amazing.

[giblet]

When you are there in the delivery room with your wife and newborn and the midwife asks "would you like some toast and a cup of tea", dont assume she is talking to you.

My wife who had refrained from swearing during the birth, made up for it in the following 5 minutes supported by a laughing group of midwives.

Edited May 6, 2015 by giblet

[Wibble]

My wee (only) yin is 18 next month - where's the time gone?

Congratulations!

Edited May 6, 2015 by Wibble

[ErsatzThistle]

I'm not a father, nor do I ever plan on being one but I want to make this appeal to all you expecting fathers out there regarding a cause that was once very dear to my heart ..............

Please, please, please, please, please, please think very carefully about the clothes you will humiliate dress your kids in. To send these innocent little creatures out into the big bad world wearing some horrible eye watering combinations or even worse - a fancy dress costume which the mother thinks is "cute" - is nothing short of cruelty. The mental scars will never heal.

Please, do it for the weans !

[Alibi]

Enjoy every moment. They grow up too fast.

[Flora MaDonald]

My Maw gave me Laphraoig when teething - probably not wise.

[glasgow jock]

Guide, don't push. Influence, don't boss. But above all enjoy every second because they will change so quickly and you'll never get back the days and times that have passed and cherish every memory - often the littlest memories will make you smile the biggest.

Agree 100% - true words

[At U Peter]

I'm not a father, nor do I ever plan on being one

I said the same at your age too. Couldn't be happier that things changed.

[Angus_Young]

Some cracking stuff from ThistleWhistle there and can relate to it a lot.

Particularly the one about projectile shiting. Our wee lass was a bit constipated in the first few weeks so we had to help her poop.Couple of times we had projectile shit fly all over us and the carpet. Absolutely delighted that she had found some relief. Had it been anyone elses wean I would have been gagging

[dandydunn]

Enjoy the ride, it is the best ever

That's how he got here in the first place

[jock strap]

That's how he got here in the first place

Valid point double D

[hunchy]

Thistlewhistle that has got to be one of the best post on this board. Took ages to read it as I was laughing so much. Let the other half read it as well and she was the same.

Ersatzthistle don't worry I've got his star wars outfits all ready for him question is does he leave hospital in the r2d2 outfit or the stormtrooper outfit

[hunchy]

Well as it's almost 2 years since i started this thread i thought I'd share what i have learned in the time and the laughs he has given us.

Firstly don't go with the thought that baby has to be in a crib or Moses basket for the first few months. Our wee finlay (got my way with the Scottish name lol) hated the Moses basket. Tried everything from swaddling and nesting to hot water bottles before he went in. After about 3 weeks of sleepless nights my other half was putting stuff away in his nursery and piped him in his big for so he would be safe after a few minutes she wondered why he wasn't making any noise so checked on him to find him speed eagled and fast asleep. So straight out to the shops to get a monitor and he has been in his cot since.

Don't let the midwives push your other half to Brest feed. We were lucky in that fin was happy to take breast or bottle so when he started loosing weight due to my other half not producing enough he went onto the bottle no problem.

Fecking clothes. Why does every shop that sells baby clothes have to have there own size ratio. We were getting things from one place for his age but it would be too wee or would drown him. Why can't there be a standardised size guide

Don't watch your favorite team play on TV when baby is on your lap sleeping the scream they give from the fright you give them when you jump and shout out when they score is not worth it.

Talk your other half into going to a baby group near by. There is usually one at the local library. She might not feel up to it and might not like going up without her slap on but it gives them a break away from the house and interacting with folk going through the same things you are and know how you are feeling.

As someone posted before it's the small things that bring the biggest smiles. Old wee fin said dada from an early age his mum hated it as that's all he would say till about 16 Ian months. Even now it's wee things that make me smile. I had tears in my eye when he first pointed to our house when i asked him where are we 

Don't get too worried if they are slow to talk compared with others of there age. Fin still doesn't say many words but at nursery his problem solving is way ahead of everyone else in his age group.

The worst thing for me is having to do shift work so when I'm back shift i don't get to see him much. To sort of make up for it when I'm on days or nights i make sure i do his bedtime routine. So changed and into his sleepsuit then on to daddy's lap for cuddles while he has his last bottle then into his gro-bag and away to bed.

Best things we got for him

Ewan the dream sheep. A cuddly toy that plays sounds to sooth and a red glow for nights

Gro-bag    basically a sleeping bag with no sleeves so baby can't kick it off and stays nice and cozy

Inflatable duck bath. Goes in the bath and gives baby a safe place to have a bath once they can sit unaided. Has a heat spot so you know if the water is too hot and means you use less water. Might be we are lucky but as soon as you say bath to fin he is straight to the stairs all excited

Hardest part of the first 2 years has been dealing with fins ear troubles. He has had ear infections on and off since about march last year. As time went on they got closer and closer together. After countless visits to the docs they finally referee us to the ent clinic who have now recommended putting grommets in and adenoids out. Sent us to the pediatric doc just to make sure there was no underlying problems. All clear from him today so just the wait now for his op. Been a struggle trying to cope with him. Up untill a couple of weeks ago he wouldn't sleep through the night in his cot. Would go down fine but would wake up in the middle of the night and wouldn't settle untill he was in with us. Some times he would still not fully settle even then. This we think is is down to his ears giving him pain. Doesn't help that he doesn't cry with pain but gets angry and his behaviour goes down hill