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Daft Fitba' Songs


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11 hours ago, DoonTheSlope said:

There was someone singing a song on the way to Portugal last October I can't remember most off it but the whole plane was pushing themselves 

it went:

do do do do do

do do do

to the land where beer and whisky flows

i was drunk last night

i was drunk the night before

and we're all in the salvation army 

 

 

 

Heard a variation of that too.

'Well I was drunk last night,

and i was drunk the night before

Gonna get drunk tonight like I've never been drunk before. 

It's glorious  victorious.'

Completely idiotic, but always got a cheer :)

 

Edited by Angus_Young
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Man Utd had variations of this that made me chuckle when I first heard them. 

Man Utd

Park, park, wherever you may be,
you eat dog in your own country,
but it could be worse,
you could be scouse,
eating rats in your council house

Liverpool responded with

Dirk Kuyt,

Wherever you may be,
You smoke dope in your home country.
But it could be worse,
You could be Manc,
Asking your sister up for a w**k!

Edited by Angus_Young
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these auld ditties always work a charm.

In your Gorgie slums,

you rake in the bucket for something to eat

you find a dead rat and you think its a treat,

In your Gorgie slums.

 

You are a weegie, a smelly weegie,

You're only happy on giro day,

Your mums a stealer,

Your dads a dealer,

Please dont take my hubcaps away.

 

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Couple of Northern Ireland ones that are heard at games. 

Away in a Manger - David Healy song

one about George McCartney retiring from International football because he didn't like flying:

i know a man, I know a man, an Ulsterman, an Ulsterman, who does not like , who does not like the aeroplanes, George McCartney super George Mcartney, George McCartneys scared of aeroplanes.

 

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I remember a song we used to have about Iffy Onuora (to the tune of Robin Hood) which started with the line "Big Black Iffy, Big Black Iffy, running down the wing". I don't want banning so I'll skip the rest.

In the early 80s our biggest local rivals were Barnsley & we had (tune of the Birdie Song):

"He's only a poor little miner, His face is all tattered and torn, He made me feel sick, So I hit him with a brick, And now he won't sing any more"

We had a really weird one, the words I've partly forgotten but along the lines of:

"My uncles a pervert, my aunty's got pox. My sister's an 'ooker on Hartlepool docks. My brother's in borstal, my mother's gone mad. And Jack the Ripper's my dad, nah, nah, nah...."

In the Cowshed at our old ground, we had:

"Bertie Mee said to Don Revie, 'Have you heard of the North Bank Highbury?', Revie said 'No, I don't think so, but I've heard of the Cowshed Boot Boys"

They don't write em like they used to :unsure:

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On ‎12‎/‎08‎/‎2016 at 0:00 AM, stocky said:

 

 Ireally liked the Christian Dailly one we used to sing......    '' u are the love of my life, id let you shag my wife..'''

 

also some of the Posh Spice Slapper ones used to make me chukkle................

Posh Spice is a slapper

She wears a wonderbra

and when she sleeps with Beckham

She thinks of Ginola

Everything about that is pure 1990's :lol: 

Edited by Stu101
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8 hours ago, Angus_Young said:

Man Utd had variations of this that made me chuckle when I first heard them. 

Man Utd

Park, park, wherever you may be,
you eat dog in your own country,
but it could be worse,
you could be scouse,
eating rats in your council house

Liverpool responded with

Dirk Kuyt,

Wherever you may be,
You smoke dope in your home country.
But it could be worse,
You could be Manc,
Asking your sister up for a w**k!

:lol:

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7 hours ago, Huddersfield said:

"He's just a poor little teuchter, His face is all tattered and torn, He made me feel sick, So I hit him with a brick, And now he won't sing any more"

"Bertie Mee said to Bill Shankly, 'Have you heard of the North Bank Highbury?', Shanks said 'No, I don't think so, but I've heard of the Firhill Shed Boys"

With the changes,  they still get an airing at Partick Thistle games. 

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Motherwells unique take on the "by far the greatest team, the world has ever seen"

:sing:

Oh I've been a muff diver many a year,

I spent all my money on muff diving gear,

a snorkel, some flippers, an oxygen tank,

If I can't have a muff dive I'll just have a w@nk,

and it's Motherwell, Motherwell FC......

Edited by sbcmfc
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City fans about Tevez

Youll never shag a sexy burd tevez tevez, youll nevee shag a sexy burd tevez tevez, you argie twat you ugly c@nt your heads sewn on from back to front, carlos tevez herman munster head

Edited by Kirk
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1 hour ago, Kirk said:

Im sure there was a new version once he signed for them appologising for their nasty words or something haha

'We used to have a song for you, Tevez, Tevez,

But now you've gone from red to blue, Tevez, Tevez.

We're sorry for the hurtful words,

I bet you shagged a load of birds,

Carlos Tevez, City til' he dies

Edited by Glasgowmancity
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8 hours ago, Glasgowmancity said:

'We used to have a song for you, Tevez, Tevez,

But now you've gone from red to blue, Tevez, Tevez.

We're sorry for the hurtful words,

I bet you shagged a load of birds,

Carlos Tevez, City til' he dies

??

Thats the one, couldnt be bothered looking for it

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Celtic fans singing to Aberdeen fans at Pittodrie just a couple days after the Indyref

"No voting shitebags, you're only no voting shitebags, noooooo voting shitebags.....

Obviously a load of nonsense - but It did sound funny as feck at the time.

 

 

*** Obviously could've been sang to Hearts / Hibs as well ;)

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1 hour ago, glasgow jock said:

Celtic fans singing to Aberdeen fans at Pittodrie just a couple days after the Indyref

"No voting shitebags, you're only no voting shitebags, noooooo voting shitebags.....

Obviously a load of nonsense - but It did sound funny as feck at the time.

*** Obviously could've been sang to Hearts / Hibs as well ;)

They evidently forgot about the large amount of ex-Celtic players who signed the "we think the union is pure great by ra way" open letter ..............

Frank McGarvey and Tony Watt support independence though :ok:

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Reminds me of this (to the tune of 'We'll travel along, singing a song, side by side')

Celtic came into some money 

They bought Frank McGarvey, it's funny

But you've got to be frank

McGarvey's a whank

Whank, whank, whank

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