Weird Neighbours

[ErsatzThistle]

The guy that lives three doors down from me has been out the back for nearly three hours now just swinging a golf club aimlessly about. He's married with a kid and that's how he spends his time most nights 

Five doors down lives a guy who's always fannying about in the garden with a big chainsaw. Revving it up constantly ......... but never actually cuts anything up with it ! 

And then there's the old boy across the road who is out cutting the grass and washing his car at 6AM during the spring and summer months.

Can you top that ?

My name is ErsatzThistle and I am a nosey neighbour !

[Guest flumax]

Sorry about the chainsaw. I'll have a word with Chris and Steve at the next neighbourhood watch 

[Orraloon]

5 minutes ago, ErsatzThistle said:

The guy that lives three doors down from me has been out the back for nearly three hours now just swinging a golf club aimlessly about. He's married with a kid and that's how he spends his time most nights 

Five doors down lives a guy who's always fannying about in the garden with a big chainsaw. Revving it up constantly ......... but never actually cuts anything up with it ! 

And then there's the old boy across the road who is out cutting the grass and washing his car at 6AM during the spring and summer months.

Can you top that ?

My name is ErsatzThistle and I am a nosey neighbour !

Of the 4 folk you describe in this post, IMO, you are the weirdest. The other 3 are displaying perfectly normal behaviour.

[Guest flumax]

My neighbour is highly odd, spends most the year in Thailand and then  brings back 2=3 different youngish lads each time, never see them go out. After couple of months,  goes again. And swaps his lads. Creepy guy

[Orraloon]

4 minutes ago, flumax said:

My neighbour is highly odd, spends most the year in Thailand and then  brings back 2=3 different youngish lads each time, never see them go out. After couple of months,  goes again. And swaps his lads. Creepy guy

Does he borrow your chainsaw?

[Guest flumax]

3 minutes ago, Orraloon said:

Does he borrow your chainsaw?

I've never seen the lads leave. Fritzl maybe more than West

[they've_been_suckered]

We had new (I think Hindu) neighbours who painted swastikas on their front door upon moving in. 

Id quickly googled it and realised it was a sacred ancient symbol for them but other (weird) neighbours were freaking out

[scoobydoo]

I have a freeloader from germany in my house at the moment, friend of a friend who is doing some research for his Masters in Marine Biology.

 

Anyway, on his first night here, I left him in the house with my spare keys while I went and got pished.

I got a taxi home at midnight and then realised I had left my house keys in my car, at the pub, 2 miles away.

Not a problem, I'll just drill the lock out (as you do) without giving a thought to try to get him to wake up and open the door.

I went to my garage and got my battery drill out and put a drill bit in it. flat battery, same with the spare. So i plugged them in to charge them for an hour. During that time I realised I also had a big bastird Makita mains powered drill so I got that and put the wee drill bit in and tried the lock. Didn't make a dent so I changed the drill bit for a 12mm. Ripped the lock to . So i went in and went to bed.

 

Next day i woke up and had forgotten about it until i decided to go and get my car. Opened the front door and here is this drill lying on the door mat. had to go get the car and then go and buy and fit a new lock.

 

None of my neighbours even bothered to come and see wtf was going on.

[scoobydoo]

1 minute ago, scoobydoo said:

I have a freeloader from germany in my house at the moment, friend of a friend who is doing some research for his Masters in Marine Biology.

 

Anyway, on his first night here, I left him in the house with my spare keys while I went and got pished.

I got a taxi home at midnight and then realised I had left my house keys in my car, at the pub, 2 miles away.

Not a problem, I'll just drill the lock out (as you do) without giving a thought to try to get him to wake up and open the door.

I went to my garage and got my battery drill out and put a drill bit in it. flat battery, same with the spare. So i plugged them in to charge them for an hour. During that time I realised I also had a big bastird Makita mains powered drill so I got that and put the wee drill bit in and tried the lock. Didn't make a dent so I changed the drill bit for a 12mm. Ripped the lock to . So i went in and went to bed.

 

Next day i woke up and had forgotten about it until i decided to go and get my car. Opened the front door and here is this drill lying on the door mat. had to go get the car and then go and buy and fit a new lock.

 

None of my neighbours even bothered to come and see wtf was going on.

So, yeah, they're a bit weird.

[thplinth]

Ken someone in Glasgow who had a couple of middle eastern folk rent the house next door.  No problem for a while kept themselves to themselves and then in the middle of the night they awoke to find both of their neighbours cars had been set alight in their driveway setting fire to their shared hedge. They moved back out soon after.

[neil r]

Few odd ones in the local 'hood...

In number 69 there lives a transvestite
He's a man by day, but he's a woman at night
There's a man in number 4 who swears
He's Saddam Hussein
Says he's on a chore to start the
Third world war

In 110 they haven't paid the rent
So there goes the TV with the repo men
In 999 they make a living from crime
The house is always empty
Cos they're all doing time.

In number 18 there lives a big butch queen
He's bigger than Tyson and he's twice as mean
In 666 there lives a Mr Miller
He's our local vicar and a serial killer

Oh if you find the time
Please come and stay a while
In my beautiful neighbourhood

Oh they want to knock us down
Cos they think we're scum
But we will all be waiting
When the bulldozers come

In a neighbourhood like this
You know it's hard to survive
So you better come prepared
Cos they won't take us alive
 

[Guest flumax]

1 hour ago, neil r said:

Few odd ones in the local 'hood...

In number 69 there lives a transvestite
He's a man by day, but he's a woman at night
There's a man in number 4 who swears
He's Saddam Hussein
Says he's on a chore to start the
Third world war

In 110 they haven't paid the rent
So there goes the TV with the repo men
In 999 they make a living from crime
The house is always empty
Cos they're all doing time.

In number 18 there lives a big butch queen
He's bigger than Tyson and he's twice as mean
In 666 there lives a Mr Miller
He's our local vicar and a serial killer

Oh if you find the time
Please come and stay a while
In my beautiful neighbourhood

Oh they want to knock us down
Cos they think we're scum
But we will all be waiting
When the bulldozers come

In a neighbourhood like this
You know it's hard to survive
So you better come prepared
Cos they won't take us alive
 

Lotta space round your way? 

[neil r]

Aye. Mind you the female neighbours are worse. They're more deadly than the males.

[Ormond]

4 hours ago, neil r said:

Aye. Mind you the female neighbours are worse. They're more deadly than the males.

Great reply!

[euan2020]

Neighbour on bottom floor likes to swim naked with his baws out in his outside pool.

 

nae bad when his good looking shaved girl friend was doing the same.

 

##### is always complaining about me, so complained about him to landlord about him swimming naked when we have kids around.

[Orraloon]

2 hours ago, euan2020 said:

Neighbour on bottom floor likes to swim naked with his baws out in his outside pool.

 

nae bad when his good looking shaved girl friend was doing the same.

 

##### is always complaining about me, so complained about him to landlord about him swimming naked when we have kids around.

Did he complain about your binoculars and telephoto lens?

 

[RenfrewBlue]

My neighbour is a total .

He went mental a few years ago when my kids were playing on our trampoline in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. Said they were too loud and his daughter couldn't concentrate on her studying. 

When my wife challenged him he said it wasn't our kids that were the problem. it was the "other kids"  meaning the two wee foster kids we had at the time aged 1 and 3. Apparently them enjoying themselves for possibly the first time in their wee lives was offensive to his ears.

I'd have kicked his teeth down his throat by now but the wife won't let me. Says it'd be a bad look for a foster carer. Hopefully one day the tw@t takes a swing at me first so I've got an excuse. 

They've since phoned the council wardens when the kids were on the trampoline and they covertly watched through their blinds. When we spotted them we called the police as the foster kids were in danger from their father so the Wardens got their nosey baws toed by a very helpful Sergeant who also had a go at the neighbours. Apparently he had been fostered as a child too.

 

[Stapes]

We once lived on the top floor of a flat in Edinburgh. The neighbour directly below us was a young guy and he'd hang his feet out his window to the front of the building and cut his toenails onto the path below. Dirty *********.

[euan2020]

6 hours ago, Orraloon said:

Did he complain about your binoculars and telephoto lens?

 

Nah - F*nny called Cops on me for playing music too loud - pity for them i was crashed out pissed, so they had to listen to the full album 

Now i just boot cockroaches into his pool 

complains about us parking bicycle in our own parking spot etc etc etc 

pity for him is i now bought the place, and now become part of corporate body, and he wanted to remain chairman  

[Huddersfield]

I effing hate the guy two doors from us with a vengeance. He's had the Police on me after I chased him down the street for threatening my lad for playing football outside his house & kicking the head off a couple of daffodils. He bought all this wasteground at the bottom of the road just to stop kids playing there & spends hours...and I mean HOURS mowing the grass like some chuffing OCD groundsman. I swear you could mow Hampden, hitch-hike to London & do Wembley in the time he spends cutting it.

I'd kick the crap out of him apart from the fact it would probably improve his brain function.

 

[Topcat]

I live next door to a really thick PC Plod - real warmer he is too.

Built the ugliest fence right around the property which resembles a reconstructed wooden pallet - said he wanted to build the fence and grow the hedges to stop people who might want to steal his children. Always pissing about moving shit in the garden from AtoB, then BtoC then back to A - never seems to be at work either.

That was pretty much the last time I spoke to the moron.

[Bristolhibby]

On 07/10/2016 at 6:35 PM, flumax said:

Lotta space round your way? 

And spiders

[TDYER63]

Think I would rather be surrounded by weird neighbours than intolerant scumbags like Renfrew blues neighbours. At least there is a bit of interest in a mad man with a chainsaw. Last place we lived i was told 'this is not Ferguslie Park' when some old biddie across the road complained about me playing Elton John loudly on a  Saturday afternoon. I could be wrong but i am not entirely sure that was the best analogy she could have given. The snobbery was abhorrent though. The village nearly went into meltdown when an ice cream van started coming round at the weekends. The kids loved it but the parents were horrified. Another old biddie chased my daughter and her friends down the street screaming ' shoo, shoo , and take you horrible sticky toffee papers with you ' . 

Taxi for Dyer. 

[ParisInAKilt]

I was about 8 or 9 when I had to ask my mum what a "turd" was, after one of the snobby older neighbours took offence to my keepy ups in the street. Amazing how 20 years ago people in the street hated kids being outside, thankfully it looks more normal when I'm back visiting. 

[neil r]

12 minutes ago, TDYER63 said:

...me playing Elton John...

Biggest wierdo neighbour on the thread behaviour.

Edited October 9, 2016 by neil r