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ScottieBigDog

Member
  • Posts

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  • Joined

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About ScottieBigDog

  • Birthday 03/07/1975

Contact Methods

  • MSN
    scott_taylor07@hotmail.com
  • Website URL
    http://www.dhbradio.com
  • Skype
    doghousebastards

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Aberdeen

Previous Fields

  • TA Club
    Crack of Dawn Tartan Army

ScottieBigDog's Achievements

  1. Have you ever known true terror? Well, I will tell you this my friends, I have lived it only last night, and luckily I have survived to tell you the bone chilling tale.. Imagine if you will that you're laying in bed reading your Kindle, and your poor tired eyes have had enough of 'See Spot Run' for the night. So you set it aside, turn off your lamp and settle down to snooze. Just as you are seconds from dozing off into the welcoming pitch black darkness of sleep, a voice mere centimetres from your ear whispers menacingly, "Instead of a Dark Lord you shall have a queen, more beautiful and terrible than the DAWN!!" Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm not afraid to say I near shat the bed, as my body levitated three feet off the mattress in horror. So yeah, near midnight is not really the best time for your Lord of the Rings obsessed partner to be quoting lines from the movie, in the pitch dark and using what sounds like a menacing yet somewhat posh English voice.
  2. I just ate a flipping jar of pickled onions. I'm not even ashamed.. Line up ladies, this love train 'ain't gonna drive itself.

  3. Customer at Casino tonight: "Hey big man! Don't suppose you've got a coosay on you?" Me: "Eh? A Coosay? What the f*ck's a Coosay?!?" Customer: "MOOOOOOOOO!" Me: "....Rooney."

  4. You know there's things deeply wrong with your colleagues when they shout at you to come see the video of Sooty & Sweep on their phone..

  5. I bought a tuna sandwich on my way home from work, and now wish I hadn't. It tastes like my mouth has been interfered with by evil beings.. How can you get such a thing as a tuna sandwich wrong? Did the tuna perhaps spend their adult life breathing in gallons of medical waste? I feel like a victim of crime here, I may spend the next hour sobbing in the shower, curled in a wee ball.

  6. The bin room for my building is packed with unbagged, scattered crap. Hell, in some parts I think there's actual, human crap. I had to go in there to put some stuff in the bin, and I felt like Luke Skywalker trapped in the trash compacter in 'Star Wars'. "Quick R2, raise the ceilings of all the garbage compactors on the detention level! Aww for f*ck sake, I think I just stood in an open nappy.."

  7. Just stood in a HUGE dog skitter whilst out walking Milo.. What a mess, I would hate to see the size of the Rooney dog judging by the mound of shite it left, looks like something left by an elephant with dodgy guts.. AND it got on the bottom of my trouser leg too. Damn near sucked my leg in like some kind of stinky quicksand!! I COULD HAVE DROWNED IN POOPS!

  8. Here's the soundtrack to my last 5 hours vomiting: "Oh jeez, I feel terribBRRAAAAAAAAAGGHH!! *Spit* *gag*.. Ungh, that wasn't fun. Hold on is that my anus in therAAAAAUUUGGHH!! *cough, splutter*.. Sweet baby Jebus and the orphaAAAAAAAARRRRRUUUUGHH!! *sob* Jeeez.. Help me Obi Wan.. YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!!".Food Poisoning sucks. :(

  9. Picture this: Scotty's out walking the dog, and a pretty girl across the street flashes him a smile. Scotty smiles back, but because his attention isn't in the direction he's going, he smashes his shin off a parked car, setting off the car alarm while he pirouettes onto his arse, tangled in a dog lead. Pretty girl gives one of those nasty smirks and walks away giggling..

  10. Here I am praying for a Bears win in the NFC championship game, and Paul Scott is winding me up by cheering on the Packers, asking me how many wickets there are, how much you get for a 'try' and telling me, "you know what your team needs? A goalie..". If he's found dead and jammed in a wheelie bin later on, I wasn't there officer.. honest.

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