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Wee Joke. Place Could Do With It


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a bunch of nuns die and go to heaven. they are gathered at the pearly gates when St Peter approaches them.

he says to them "you may enter, if you can answer me honestly one question"

he says to the first nun "have you ever touched a mans willie"

yes, she says once with this finger. St peter tells her to put her finger in the holy water and she will be cleansed and can enter heaven.

says to second nun "have you ever touched a mans willie" yes, she say, once, with this hand. St peter tells her to put her hand in the holy water and she will be cleansed and can enter heaven. so she does.

suddenly there's this big commossion at the back of the group. St peter asks "whats going on back there ladies" and one of the nun turns, points to her friend and says "I'm not washing my mouth out in there after she's had her bum in it"

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  • 2 weeks later...

Morris, 86 years old, walked into a crowded doctor's surgery. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, how can we help you today?"

"There's something wrong with my penis," Morris says aloud.

The receptionist was quite shocked at his reply and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded surgery and talk that way."

"Why not?" said Morris, "you asked me what was wrong and I told you."

The receptionist replied, "But you've caused some embarrassment – this room is full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the real problem with the doctor in private."

So Morris walked out, waited several minutes and came in again.

The receptionist smiled and said, "Yes sir, how can we help you today?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," Morris replied.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing Morris had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"

"I can't pee out of it," Morris replied.

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