Ormond Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 That was even on this page.ItThe punchline is even Itchy Sore Fanny also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armchair Bob Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 So Miriam and Bertram were on holiday in Germany with their beloved chihuahua Bertie, and fancied a wee tour of the local German sausage factory. So they are being shown round the tour when suddenly Miriam screams "Bertie! I've lost Bertie!" "Relax," says the guide, "vot is ze wurst that could happen?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daddybuc16 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 4 people in the carriage of a train - a Scotsman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and an Englishman. It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Englishman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek. The old lady thinks: "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him." The pretty young blonde thinks: "I bet the Englishman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him." The Englishman thinks: "I bet that the Scotsman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me." The Scotsman thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that English twat again." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jock strap Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 4 people in the carriage of a train - a Scotsman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and an Englishman. It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Englishman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek. The old lady thinks: "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him." The pretty young blonde thinks: "I bet the Englishman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him." The Englishman thinks: "I bet that the Scotsman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me." The Scotsman thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that English twat again." :lol: Superb ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manewhut Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Q - what do u call a dog with no tongue? A - stinky baws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 not sure if this has been posted before.. .A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa"The cop asked, "What's he like?"The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big tits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishcumnock Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 Love it ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fringo Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Since it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethnic minority, try this one: An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Jordanian, a Kiwi, a Swede, a Finn, a Canadian, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, an Argentinian, a Libyan, a Qatari, an Indian, a Laotian and an Ghanian went to a night club. The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny_Ham Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Three wee jobbies sitting on the pavement. Which one's a Musketeer? The dark tan yin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perthTam Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 I was looking at televisions at PCWorld today and said to the wife, "That's the one I'd get", and a passing cyclops punched me in the face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flure Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 A little paper bag was feeling unwell so he took himself off to the doctors. "Well you look OK to me" said the doc, "but I'll do a few blood tests. Come back in a couple of days". The little paper bag returned on schedule, only to be told the bad news. "I'm afraid you're HIV positive" said the doctor. "That's impossible-I'm just a little paper bag!" said the little paper bag. "Have you had any unprotected sex?" asked the doctor. "Don't be silly, I'm just a little paper bag". "Have you been sharing any needles with drug users?" "No, I'm just a little paper bag I can't do those things!". "Perhaps you've been abroad recently and required a jab or a blood transfusion?". "No, I don't even have a passport, I'm a little paper bag!" "There can only be one explanation", said the doctor. "You're mother must have been a carrier"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.thumb.jpg.5eeaf0fbe501ba3c868c32fd77caef1f.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.