Larky Masher Posted November 24, 2015 Author Share Posted November 24, 2015 I thought those stories were urban legends, fished out by a lazy journalist, was there really a spate where 3 days couldn't go past without someone smashing a green traffic light? The green traffic lights still have grids over them (something my two Linlithgowfied daughters find amusing) though neither the green Asda or Lloyds pharmacy signs have been sign have been vandalised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMcoolJ Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 That would make a much better sign. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larky Masher Posted November 24, 2015 Author Share Posted November 24, 2015 LOL The town has enough of those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ormond Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 The town has enough of those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMcoolJ Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 The town has enough of those. Nae bad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marky Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Only good thing to come out of larkhall was Paul McStay. Can I add my Mrs to that list please. I've spent a fair amount of time in Larkhall (for the aforementioned reason) and I would say that by Scotland's standards it's definitely not a shithole to look at. It actually has some reasonably nice areas and its more dodgy areas don't even come close to other places I've seen (I grew up in Paisley!). However, without any shadow of doubt, Larkhall has a higher TSR (Total Scumbag Ratio) per capita that just about any other town I've been to. The Larkhall Nedometer must need its batteries replacing on a regular basis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobydoo Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Its actually quite difficult to smash a traffic light bulb. The glass on the lens is pretty strong, so I'm told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larky Masher Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 However, without any shadow of doubt, Larkhall has a higher TSR (Total Scumbag Ratio) per capita that just about any other town I've been to. The Larkhall Nedometer must need its batteries replacing on a regular basis. As objective evidence goes that's right up there................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angus_Young Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Can I add my Mrs to that list please. I've spent a fair amount of time in Larkhall (for the aforementioned reason) and I would say that by Scotland's standards it's definitely not a shithole to look at. It actually has some reasonably nice areas and its more dodgy areas don't even come close to other places I've seen (I grew up in Paisley!). However, without any shadow of doubt, Larkhall has a higher TSR (Total Scumbag Ratio) per capita that just about any other town I've been to. The Larkhall Nedometer must need its batteries replacing on a regular basis. I don't have a lot of experience of Larkhall but I would have thought Renton or James Town took some beating in that respect. Granted I'm only basing this on one pub and a couple of amateur football teams. In all seriousness most places have good and bad parts/people in my experience. Of course those from outwith the town will focus on the bad and lump the entire place and its inhabitants in with that. I live in Clackmannanshire for example and Alloa is often referred to as a shithole because of the Mar Policies part of the town, otherwise known as the bottom end. Don't get me wrong there are some absolute mutants down there but it's generally a fairly 'normal' place. I was at a wedding there recently (LH). Place was very nice it has to be said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larky Masher Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 I don't have a lot of experience of Larkhall but I would have thought Renton or James Town took some beating in that respect. Granted I'm only basing this on one pub and a couple of amateur football teams. In all seriousness most places have good and bad parts/people in my experience. Of course those from outwith the town will focus on the bad and lump the entire place and its inhabitants in with that. I live in Clackmannanshire for example and Alloa is often referred to as a shithole because of the Mar Policies part of the town, otherwise known as the bottom end. Don't get me wrong there are some absolute mutants down there but it's generally a fairly 'normal' place. I was at a wedding there recently (LH). Place was very nice it has to be said. Due to deindustrialisation most small towns in Scotland, unfortunately, have issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angus_Young Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Due to deindustrialisation most small towns in Scotland, unfortunately, have issues. Well the reasoning will be up for debate but aye, everywhere has wallopers and rough parts IMO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marky Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 (edited) As objective evidence goes that's right up there.................I only have the evidence of my own eyes Larky. The convenience store on Drygate Street next to the petrol station is like some sort of youth theatre. It seems to me that every time I go to it there is some sort of drama going on outside it. On my last visit alone in October I went over to get something and witnessed one Larky denizen with some sort of devil dug on a rope. The beast proceeded to bite another townsman squarely on the face (drawing blood) in an unprovoked fashion much to the hilarity of its owner. I say unprovoked, but the recipient of the bite was wearing Larkhall uniform (rangers top, non descript sports shorts, fitba socks and baseball cap) so you decide if it was unprovoked. Upon getting back to the hoose I realised I'd forgotten something and went back over, this time to find 2 lassies in their early twenties literally having a square go with each other. When I'm in town I always offer to go to the shop or go up to Quintilianos for the fish suppers. It's comedy gold. Edited November 28, 2015 by Marky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armitage Shanks Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 I only have the evidence of my own eyes Larky. The convenience store on Drygate Street next to the petrol station is like some sort of youth theatre. It seems to me that every time I go to it there is some sort of drama going on outside it. On my last visit alone in October I went over to get something and witnessed one Larky denizen with some sort of devil dug on a rope. The beast proceeded to bite another townsman squarely on the face (drawing blood) in an unprovoked fashion much to the hilarity of its owner. I say unprovoked, but the recipient of the bite was wearing Larkhall uniform (rangers top, non descript sports shorts, fitba socks and baseball cap) so you decide if it was unprovoked. Upon getting back to the hoose I realised I'd forgotten something and went back over, this time to find 2 lassies in their early twenties literally having a square go with each other. When I'm in town I always offer to go to the shop or go up to Quintilianos for the fish suppers. It's comedy gold. Dignified as ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marky Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 Dignified as ever. Eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larky Masher Posted November 28, 2015 Author Share Posted November 28, 2015 (edited) I only have the evidence of my own eyes Larky. The convenience store on Drygate Street next to the petrol station is like some sort of youth theatre. It seems to me that every time I go to it there is some sort of drama going on outside it. On my last visit alone in October I went over to get something and witnessed one Larky denizen with some sort of devil dug on a rope. The beast proceeded to bite another townsman squarely on the face (drawing blood) in an unprovoked fashion much to the hilarity of its owner. I say unprovoked, but the recipient of the bite was wearing Larkhall uniform (rangers top, non descript sports shorts, fitba socks and baseball cap) so you decide if it was unprovoked. Upon getting back to the hoose I realised I'd forgotten something and went back over, this time to find 2 lassies in their early twenties literally having a square go with each other. When I'm in town I always offer to go to the shop or go up to Quintilianos for the fish suppers. It's comedy gold. Thanks for that lot of made-up phuking nonsense. Edited November 28, 2015 by Larky Masher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ally Bongo Posted November 28, 2015 Share Posted November 28, 2015 I only have the evidence of my own eyes Larky. The convenience store on Drygate Street next to the petrol station is like some sort of youth theatre. It seems to me that every time I go to it there is some sort of drama going on outside it. On my last visit alone in October I went over to get something and witnessed one Larky denizen with some sort of devil dug on a rope. The beast proceeded to bite another townsman squarely on the face (drawing blood) in an unprovoked fashion much to the hilarity of its owner. I say unprovoked, but the recipient of the bite was wearing Larkhall uniform (rangers top, non descript sports shorts, fitba socks and baseball cap) so you decide if it was unprovoked. Upon getting back to the hoose I realised I'd forgotten something and went back over, this time to find 2 lassies in their early twenties literally having a square go with each other. When I'm in town I always offer to go to the shop or go up to Quintilianos for the fish suppers. It's comedy gold. Utter shite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marky Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Thanks for that lot of made-up phuking nonsense. Eh? Made up as in it didn't happen? Why the would I just randomly make that up. I can assure you it very much happened EXACTLY as I described it. Apologies if the truth about your shitey wee town hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larky Masher Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Eh? Made up as in it didn't happen? Why the ###### would I just randomly make that up. I can assure you it very much happened EXACTLY as I described it. Because you are a deluded fantasist who desperate to win an argument. Given that attack by a devil dog that caused a facial injury would make the Advertise at least, send me a link to story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marky Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 (edited) Because you are a deluded fantasist who desperate to win an argument. Given that attack by a devil dog that caused a facial injury would make the Advertise at least, send me a link to story.Sorry I guess there were aspects I didn't make clear. The two people involved I.e. The dog owner and the bitee were clearly friends. The guy kneeled down to pet the dug and it went straight for his face, as I say drawing blood. The dog owner thought it was hilarious and the other guy didn't seem overly fussed despite despite having a chunk taken out of his coupon. I should think that would answer your point about why the incident wasn't reported. You can choose to believe me or not, but it happened the way I described. As for deluded and desperate to win an argument, I wasn't even aware I was in an argument?? I thought I was merely describing some of my experiences in your home town. Edited November 29, 2015 by Marky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larky Masher Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Sorry I guess there were aspects I didn't make clear. The two people involved I.e. The dog owner and the bitee were clearly friends. The guy kneeled down to pet the dug and it went straight for his face, as I say drawing blood. The dog owner thought it was hilarious and the other guy didn't seem overly fussed despite despite having a chunk taken out of his coupon. I should think that would answer your point about why the incident wasn't reported. Aspects you didn't make clear, aye that's exactly what you did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marky Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Aspects you didn't make clear, aye that's exactly what you did. Why does the fact that they knew each other make a difference? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larky Masher Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Why does the fact that they knew each other make a difference? It the fact that it wasn't unprovoked attack on a passer-by that makes the difference, which is what your initial post tried to portray it as. Are you a Sun journalist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marky Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 It the fact that it wasn't unprovoked attack on a passer-by that makes the difference, which is what your initial post tried to portray it as. Are you a Sun journalist? Unprovoked it most certainly was and please point out where I said it was a passer by? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orraloon Posted November 29, 2015 Share Posted November 29, 2015 Welcome to the Marky and Larky Comedy Half Hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larky Masher Posted November 29, 2015 Author Share Posted November 29, 2015 Unprovoked it most certainly was and please point out where I said it was a passer by? Your original post was structured in such to a way as too imply this incident was random attack on a passer-by and it's only in your frantic back-pedalling that the true picture has become apparent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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