Where's All The "since It's Friday" Jokes? - Anything Goes - Other topics not covered elsewhere - Tartan Army Message Board Jump to content

Where's All The "since It's Friday" Jokes?


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Two pensioners are enjoying oral sex together.

The old man says, "I can't stay down here any longer, it stinks"!

The old lady replies, "It's my arthritis".

The old man says, "Arthritis, in your vagina"

"No", says the lady, "It's in my shoulder. I can't wipe my erse"!

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Here's a fusion joke, containing elements of five other jokes. As a result, it should be five times funnier than any normal joke.

Two skeletons are enjoying oral sex together, when he notices a piece of paper hanging out her pocket, and starts plucking out her pubic hairs. Suddenly a voice from the cupboard says, " the bees!"

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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me? ' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids'.

His mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my mates watching while your partner whipped my arse with wet celery'???

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

What do you call a colour blind butcher ?
Graham.

A bloke takes 2 stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow,the expert examines them and asks"do you know what they'd fetch if they were in good condition ?" The man replies"yes,sticks"

Uwe Rosler sees an elderly woman struggling out of Tesco with a load of bags. "Can you manage?" he says. "F**k off" she replies "you got in this mess so you can get yourself out of it".

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