Been to games home and abroad the last few campaigns, always believing and always doing the maths as it got into the final matches, trying to work out how we could still qualify and believing we could.
This campaign I've been a lot calmer - not been going to as many games, not getting carried away with the good results and trying not to get ahead of myself.
I couldn't help myself going into tonight's game though - I had it all planned out in my head that we would beat Georgia then I'd be going to Hampden for massive games against Germany and Poland which I was telling myself we could get results in.
I started to seriously think about France - me and my dad were just talking the other week about how we would make a week or two of it and go over for all three games.
The feeling of despair is even worse tonight because I let my hopes up. I had resigned myself to us not qualifying for France, then a bit of belief and optimism crept back in. It makes the inevitable disappointment and heartbreak so much harder to take.